If I knew then what I know now… What might I have done differently? What would I keep the same?
We have all heard that we should live in the present. The past is gone and the future is yet to be. All we have is right now. But unless you are the ultimate Zen Master there will undoubtedly be times when you look back at your choices and also forward to the person you want to become.
As wise as it is to live in the present we do not exist in a vacuum. Our right now is formed by the past and the future. We know the ways in which we want to live our lives, even if we have not accomplished all of it yet.
We see things in a different perspective than we did before. We can look at the patterns of choices made. The things we regret become clear.
When there are new choices ahead of us, as there always are, the best person to turn to could be the person we wish to become.
Wait, let me explain…
Imagine where you want to be in the future. Think about the person you would be if you achieve your goals. He will (hopefully) have grown and created distance from the issues that are sidelining you today.
Years from now much of what you presently see as obstacles – whatever is holding you back - will probably no longer be relevant. But, in the moment you might focus on the things that are in the way. And putting too much attention on the obstacles can make you lose track of the big picture. Then, down the road things are seen more clearly in hindsight.
But the answers were inside the entire time. In your heart you know what you should be doing right this moment to get closer to achieving your dreams.
A while back a friend told me about an exercise she did with her sister. They sat down and wrote themselves letters describing what they think their older, wiser, more experienced selves would want them to know.
My friend showed me her letter and it was filled with heartfelt desires for her younger (current) self to pursue her dreams, to not give up and to love with all of her heart.
I think those sentiments would echo the ones many of us feel.
We all know what we wish we had done differently before; we know what we want for the future. And those exact things can be guideposts to making choices in the present.
By the way, some people say they do not know what they want. I have found though if you ask someone, what would you do if you knew that you would not fail, they know exactly what they want most. Interesting, eh. And not surprisingly these are the same things people regret not pursuing.
What do people regret the most?
A lot of people lament chances not taken, dreams they failed to pursue and love they fell short of acknowledging.
We may feel badly for the mistakes we make while pursuing dreams, taking chances and giving love. BUT, I think those feelings pass and we are left with the satisfaction of knowing we fully lived with our hearts.
It is the holding back (holding on) that burdens us. Love isn’t love until you give it away, chances are not taken until you try and dreams are just sad when they live only in your head. Honest.
What would you write your younger, current self down the road? Chances are you would, in one form or another, beseech the present day you to not waste time worrying, to do whatever you had to do to live without regrets.
So, sit right down and write yourself a letter. If you have gotten this far reading what I have said here, you probably know what you would say. Life is for the living.